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Before you read this know that I did not write this. It was written by an old coworker of mine for a school essay. I believe she got an A. So here is credit where credit is due to Donna. Donna still works at Disneyland and loves her job this was all done in fun. Even though this was done as a joke it is how daily life was for us, I was her lead when she wrote this. She is now a lead for the area. So with out any further delay here is "Have A Magical Day."

"Hi. Thank you for calling the Disneyland ticketing and reservations. How may I help you?"
"Um, yes....I was wondering if you happened to know where the nearest Catholic Church is around the area?"
"One moment."
HOLD.
Is this lady serious? This is Disneyland. What does she think we are? Catholics, obviously. I don't know where the nearest Catholic Church is. I'm here to take reservations for tours and shows. I'm here to sell tickets over the phone, not to answer geographical questions.
"Ahem. Ma'am? Unfortunately I was unable to find that information for you. Is there anything else I can help you with? Are you going to be visiting the park soon?"
"No, thanks. Bye."
CLICK.
Okay. There's a queue of ten people waiting on the phone. It never seems to die down. Isn't there something else these people could be doing with their time because they sure are wasting mine. Okay. Put on a happy face. You ca do it.
"Hi. Thank you for calling the Disneyland ticketing and reservations. How may I help you?"
"Hello? Hello?"
"Yes, hello. How may I help you?"
"Hello?"
"Sir. Can you hear me?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm in one of your lines out here at the ticket booths, and this is ridiculous. I've been waiting for over twenty minutes."
"Uh, sir. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about the pace of the line at the ticket booths."
"Well, you guys need to do something because this is ridiculous. I want to speak to your supervisor."
"One moment, sir."
HOLD.
Are you kidding me? You're kidding me right? This guy is actually right outside our building, waiting in one of the lines, and calling me to complain? Does he really think that calling me is going to make the line go faster? I really don't have time for this.
"Hello? Sir?"
After that, he's not there anymore? He must have made it to the front of the line.
"Hi. Thank you for calling Disneyland ticketing and reservations. How may I help you?"
"Hi. What is the weather going to be like at the park today?"
"You know what, I really don't know the forecast for today, but...."
"Oh. It's okay. I just live down the street from the park and I was thinking of coming today, bit I didn't want to come if it was raining."
"Well it wasn't raining when I got to work today, if that helps."
All right. Thanks."
"Your welcome."
CLICK.
I'm not the weather lady. Do you see me on television in a cute skirt? No. I'm here sitting at a desk in bright blue pants that come up to my chest with a belt to hold them in place. It's not like they are going to fall off. Why do I even have to wear this belt? And seriously.... you live two seconds away. How is the weather here any different from the weather at your house? Get a grip. Ohmygoodness, there are ten people in the queue again. Will they ever stop?
"Hi. Thank you for calling Disneyland ticketing and reservations. How may I help you?"
"Habla, Espanol?"
"Um. No. I don't, but what can I help you with? Maybe I can understand."
"Well. I was wondering if perhaps you knew what time the fireworks would be tonight?"
"They will be at 9:25 pm, sir."
"Oh. Really? Well, that sounds fabulous. And one more question. Can I bring water into the park?"
"Uh. Yes, you can bring water into the park."
"Thanks. That's all I needed to know."
"No problem. Have a magical day."
CLICK.
Uh, was it just me? Or did that man just speak perfect English? Did he want to see if I could speak Spanish just for fun? When is my break? I need one.
"Hi. Thank you for calling Disneyland ticketing and reservations. How may I help you?"
"Hi. I was wonder...."
CLICK.
Finally. Break time. I was wondering if anyone has any Tylenol. The longer I work at this so-called "happy place" the more I realize that I AM one of the few sane people left in the world.