Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious HUMOR! Share a funny story! Make people laugh!

3 Kudos

Add Reply New Topic

<< Previous Topic Next Topic >>

Author

Comment

mztink03

#101

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 4310

Wed, Jul 2, 2008 03:21 PM

Fly With Me!

OMG, those had me ROFL!! Thanks I needed that!

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#102

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Wed, Jul 2, 2008 04:58 PM

Glad I could make you laugh, Heather!

Reply Quote

mickeysangel49

#103

[-]

Basement Moderator

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 838

Wed, Jul 2, 2008 09:26 PM

Magical Mod!

Another groaner, Schmitty!

Dawn - we must have a mutual friend - I got that same list of jokes about a week ago and I just haven't had the chance to post them here! Glad you got there first!

Reply Quote

Schmitty1964

#104

[-]

Master Basementeer

Posts: 435

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 05:56 AM

Those ARE great, Dawn! Some good chuckles in there!

Here's today's entry:

In the great desert lived a band of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

After leading the band for many years, Benny began to fell uncomfortable wearing the beard, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you not remember the ancient legend, Sire. The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."

Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.

Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.

The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."

Does This Signature Make My Butt Look Big?

So say we all

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#105

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 10:35 AM

Hail the king of the groaners.....lol

mickeysangel - my aunt is the queen of all forwarders.....so it probably came from her or one of my old co-workers, lol. Funny how fast those get forwarded, huh?

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#106

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 10:39 AM

For all of you who have ever ordered a cake from Walmart (I know I have, and I can totally see this happening!):

Wal-Mart Cake

It took me a second, but make sure you read the story under the picture.

Keep in mind this actually really did happen. This is someone who was moving from an insurance claims office.

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

STOP LAUGHING! You can't fix stupid

Reply Quote

mztink03

#107

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 4310

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 11:17 AM

Fly With Me!

Hey Dawn, I can't see the pic!

Schmitty that was too funny!! Hail to the chief of all groaners!

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#108

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 11:29 AM

Darn it...I can see the pic! I hate when that happens.......

It essentially says, on the cake:
Best Wishes Suzanne
Underneat That
We Will Miss You.

Yup, those are the exactly words...in frosting!

Reply Quote

mztink03

#109

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 4310

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 11:37 AM

Fly With Me!

ROFL, only Walmart would do something that stupid!!

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#110

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 12:04 PM

Like I said, totally could see it happening.....they misspelled Colin's name a year ago for his birthday...even though I spelled it 5 times. So....I wasn't surprised at all! ROFL!

Reply Quote

LaLaRoo78

#111

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 726

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 02:08 PM

Ok I don't have a joke but it is a funny story.

My girlfriends and I were having lunch one day and we were talking about a children's ABC book that my one friend was reading to her son. She said when it came to Z they had a picture of a Zuchinni. We commented on how that was unusual since when we were growing up all the books usually had a Zebra in it for the letter Z. Then our other friend said yeah they usually have a Zebra or xylophone but I've never seen a zuchinni. Neither one of us said anything to her. Guess she did not realize that xylophone starts with and X. We had a good laugh after she left and will pull that out of the vault soon.

(She also said one time when we were in Canada what do I know I don't speak Canadian. Someone was speaking in French. We bring that up often too)

Free Disney Tickers

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#112

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 02:33 PM

ROFL Michele!

I love funny friend stories! My best friend is constantly reminded of the time, way back when Marty was a smoker and so was she....they were on our balcony having a cigarette, while another friend of mine and I were inside talking to them through the screen door. Sarah turned to come in and BAM...the girl ricochetted off of the screen door and back into Marty! ROFL! I was literally...

The girl had screen marks on her face. It's been 11 years.....and I STILL bring it up! Poor girl is never gonna live it down.

Although, I'm SURE there are many many things that she has waiting for me for the right time to bring them out - which is why she's STILL my bff...lol!

Reply Quote

mztink03

#113

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 4310

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 03:08 PM

Fly With Me!

ROFLMAO!!! I had a girl from Oklahoma convinced that I could only see color in one of my eyes. She wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the pack but when I get questions about my eyes I can't help it. She asked if I was born with two different colored eyes and if I could see color out of both of them. WAY TO LEAVE YOURSELF OPEN!! So with a straight poker face I told her that I could ony see color in my green eye and black & white in my brown eye. She believed me and I still laugh about that to this day!!

Reply Quote

mickeysangel49

#114

[-]

Basement Moderator

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 838

Thu, Jul 3, 2008 04:07 PM

Magical Mod!

LOL - I couldn't see the picture either, so I'm glad you wrote it out. Too funny.

The other stories are all hysterical!

The Master of all groaners strikes again!! LOL

This one pales in comparison, but is still amusing:

As Jesus traveled the country, he met many amazing people. One day he came to a village and continually heard people talking about a man there who made the most beautiful clothing in the land. So Jesus went to visit this man, whose name was Finkelstein. Jesus was amazed at the rich colors and designs the man had, and he even asked him to make him a new robe for himself. At the same time, Finkelstein told Jesus how he was impressed with his teachings, that Jesus should put them into books so people would have them forever. So they decided to go into business together and build a huge store for their merchandise.

The only problem was, they could not agree on a name. Should it be "Jesus & Finkelstein"? Or perhaps "Finkelstein & Jesus"? After many days of discussion and disagreement, they finally found a solution that made them both happy.

And they called the store "Lord & Taylor"

Last Edited By: mickeysangel49 Thu, Jul 3, 2008 04:10 PM. Edited 1 time.

Reply Quote

LaLaRoo78

#115

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 726

Fri, Jul 4, 2008 07:12 AM

LOL Great stories, Heather and Dawn!!

Good one, Heidi!

Free Disney Tickers

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#116

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Fri, Jul 4, 2008 08:01 AM

Heather - that is SO something Marty would do.....rofl!

Heidi - lol....good one!

Reply Quote

mztink03

#117

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 4310

Fri, Jul 4, 2008 12:46 PM

Fly With Me!

LOL- Heidi, that was too funny!

Thanks Dawn, i've had some strange questions posed to me about my eye color.

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#118

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Fri, Jul 4, 2008 12:59 PM

Heather, I think it's cool that you have two different colored eyes....it's unusual! But.....people are not always the sharpest crayons in the box!

Reply Quote

pixiedust14

#119

[-]

Basementeer Imagineer

Posts: 621

Fri, Jul 4, 2008 01:06 PM

Here's a good one......

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, & knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, & she says "Hi, my name is Heather &
you're losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her & proceeds
down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl
catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up & knocks on the
door.. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never
spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, & you're
losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again &
continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing
happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs
up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window.
Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, & you're losing some of your load!"
When th e light turns green, the trucker revs up & races to the next
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, &
runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, & after she lowers
it, he says..."Hi, my name is Kevin. It's winter in Missouri & I'm driving the SALT
TRUCK!"